Deciding from the Inside Out
by Lynn Marlow
Creativity is what comes from deep inside of you. It can’t come from what others think or like, or what others think you should or shouldn’t do. Creativity has a vibrant voice, and remarkable power, but only if you stop to listen. Creativity begins with hearing that inner voice, trusting your instincts, and appreciating your own personal feelings and attitudes. It starts with knowing where to go within yourself to find the inspiration, and the crazy ideas. It starts with awareness.
A thousand times each day, you make decisions. Most of those decisions are so familiar that you don’t even realize you’re making them. You decide when to get up, what to wear, what to eat for breakfast. You decide what route to take to work, or which task to tackle first. Then you decide how to do each thing. Many of these decisions become habits, so we aren’t even aware that we’re making decisions. Truthfully, the effort involved in making new, conscious decisions every step along the way would be overwhelming.
You remember what it was like to learn to drive a car? Remember having to decide whether to hit the brake and which gear to use, and which lane to be in, and which way to look? If you were anything like me, it was like having a panic attack that lasted six months. The stress and tension of making all those decisions at one time was overwhelming, and if it hadn’t become easier, I would surely have given up. But driving eventually became intuitive, and then fun and almost effortless.
Now imagine going through life like a 16-year old behind the wheel. If we were always that aware, vigilant and overwhelmed, we’d never get anything done. We need to have habits in order to function.
But every once in a while, we need to stop moving and pay attention to the decisions we’re making. To take the time and effort to question some of those decisions, and make sure they’re really the right ones. Every once in a while, we naturally go through a period of reevaluation and change. Things may get a little harder for a while, but in the end, we discover better ways of doing things, and a more satisfying way of life.
You’ve probably gone through phases of reevaluation and change many times, mostly in small ways. Like when you decide to go on a diet, or work out, you reevaluate your food, and your exercise program, and decide to do things differently. (Sometimes it sticks, and sometimes it doesn’t. In future articles, you’ll get some insight into why change sometimes doesn’t last very long.) You might decide to take a different route to work, or try a new recipe. At first, it takes a little more effort, but once you’re familiar with your new strategy, you find that it works better.
When this kind of reevaluation affects big areas of your life, like a job or a relationship, it can feel like a crisis. It can take great courage, and lots of commitment and support. Often it takes time for you to reach equilibrium again, and having a coach to help you navigate the time of uncertainty can be invaluable. Creating big change is a huge deal, but the benefits of shaking up your life can be enormous.
Awakening your creativity is a little like opening Pandora’s box. When you give yourself permission to feel and to express yourself, you never know exactly what’s going to fly out. Try to relax, and enjoy the journey of exploration and discovery. In most ways, your creativity will enhance the life you lead, just making it seem a little brighter, and making you feel a bit more present and connected.
Here is one place to start. The next time you have a little decision to make, resist the habitual response, and ask yourself how you really feel about it. If you’re choosing the dinner menu, stop and ask yourself what you’re really in the mood for. When you get dressed, ask yourself what you would really feel good in, or what outfit would best match your attitude today. When you’ve got a little free time, ask yourself how you really want to spend that time. Are you looking for quiet and calm, or stimulation and energy? Do you feel like being productive, or do you just want to have fun? What activities would feel enjoyable, and would fit your mood?
When we start looking inside for direction, and following our instinctive reactions, we turn ourselves from observers of life into participants. We all know the comfort of playing it safe, and of avoiding conflict by letting others call the shots. But if you were truly only interested in playing it safe, you wouldn’t still be reading this. Maybe you’re ready to let your essential self guide you.
If you take the risk of letting your own likes and dislikes rise to the surface, and accommodate yourself as often as you do others, you will see more and more clearly your heart’s wisdom, and will know that the decisions you make for yourself are right for you. You will be taking the helm for the most important, the most terrifying, the most rewarding journey of them all.
You will be creating your life.
Here's the Coaching Bit —
Think of a problem you’re trying to solve, or something you want to create. it might be a craft or work of art, but it might just as well be tonight’s dinner, or rearranging the living room. It might be a project at work, or your vegetable garden. You get the picture. Pick something you want to create.
Everything starts with a question. “What do I want to make for dinner?” “What do I want this next painting to say?” “How do I want my front yard to look?”
Think of your question. Write it down on a piece of paper.
Now sit quietly for a few minutes. Listen to your breathing. Listen to the sound of a ticking clock. Focus your gaze on one object in the room. Feel your body relax, and slowly turn your awareness inward, to the rhythms and sounds of your own body. Pay attention to the pattern of your thoughts - are they rapid, calm, anxious or demanding? Let your thoughts be there, and continue to focus on your breathing, and to the rhythms of your body.
After you’ve sat quietly for a few minutes, softly ask the question. Then wait. An easy answer, like what to make for dinner, may reveal itself right away. More complicated answers take more time. Don’t give up. If you try too hard to answer a difficult question too quickly, what you come up with is likely to be a product of old patterns, and wrong. Patiently sitting with your questions gives your authentic self time to form an answer.
How will you know when you have the right answer? Ask your heart. You’ll know.
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